i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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