...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You've changed since you got that strap on
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
