I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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