How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
