Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
