i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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