It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
