This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize