Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
