It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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