we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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