I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
