I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
