Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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