awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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