he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
