I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
