I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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