do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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