Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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