We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
