the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
