Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
