Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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