I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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