Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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