I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Quick, to the slutcave!
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize