She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
