Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
