...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize