There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
BRING THE BAGELS
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
