and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
