Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
