So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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