So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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