Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
