I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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