he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
