PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
