I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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