what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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