i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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