who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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