When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
