...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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