FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
