is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
