I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
