i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
