Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Just puked most of my soul out..
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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