apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
