Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
