i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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