Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
