don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
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