If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
