What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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